Memories of the past
by Shihastah
Summary: Chavez meets a girl from his past and thinks back on their time together. Revised version of the story I hope you like it.
1. memories of the past

Disclaimer: I do not own young Guns or Young Guns 2

Chapter 1- Memories of the past

'Can this truly last?' Chavez thought as he rode down the street of San Francisco. He had escaped from Lincoln alive but he knew in his heart his past would come back to haunt him; and that's when he saw her. She looked just like he remembered her, only her hair was shorter. She must have felt his eyes on her because she turned and looked at him. The wind blew back the brown ringlets that were her hair and her brown eyes twinkled as she recognized him.

:flashback:  
(a/n all future chapters, except the last, will be a flashback)

He spun the knife in his hand as he looked at the doe grazing. She twitched and looked up, at that moment Chavez threw. The knife stuck in her thigh, she tried to run but he was on her in a second; he slit her throat to finish the job.  
Chavez breathed a short prayer for the animal and slung her over his horse. The doe was thin, he thought with a frown. He could easily see the outline of the ribs against her hide, but meat was rare on this barren land and he was lucky she had even strayed this far at all.

As he neared the village, he saw there was some kind of commotion going on. The whole village was gathered in a crowd and shouting, he thought he could make out the words of 'burn her' and 'kill her'. He swung down with his horse still in a trot and pushed through the crowd.  
At first he thought it was an Indian woman, she was wearing the garb of the plains Indians, Cherokee maybe. But a better look told him she was a white woman, her skin was tanned dark from the sun and what he could tell was normally a fair, lovley face, was painted in war colors.

"What's going on?" He asked to no one in particular.

He watched as the captive was drug off to a near by Hogan. She cast a despairing look in Chavez direction, and then she disappeared inside

.

The sun was almost completely out of sight as Chavez entered the captive's Hogan. She lifted her head and looked at him curiously. Her brown eyes caught light from the last rays of the sun and took on a reddish tint.

"I talked to the Dine' who captured you. They said you fired at them. Shot my cousin in the shoulder as a matter of fact…. and you were wearing war paint." He said quietly.

"They snuck up on me while I was camping outside of Lincoln. All I saw were three pairs of eyes staring at me! What would you have done?" She yelled angrily.

"Fair enough. Then explain the war paint. As if a white woman wearing war paint isn't odd enough."

"I came here to kill the man who killed my father."

"One of my tribe killed your father?"

"No, I only shot at your people because I can't take chances! The men who killed my father know what I look like and probably will be expecting me to try something like this. I tried to tell the tribe the truth but they were too angry to listen!"

Chavez chewed on her statements in his mind a moment. "That still doesn't explain why a WHITE WOMAN would wear war paint."

She at looked genuinely offended. "You think you know so much?" she smiled. "Not all whites are the same in body and mind and life experience."

Chavez smiled a little "what is your name?"

"Star" she stated simply

"Star? Does that have anything to do with this?" He pulled an ivory handled gun from the back of his pants; on the side of the gun was a silver sheriff's star.

"Yes.'star' is my nickname or 'gun hand' name if you prefer. That star belonged to my father."

"You. A gun hand?" Chavez replied razing his eyebrows

She grinned up at him in reply.

He gave an amused "humph!" as he turned to go. "I'll return in the morning." He said. "Then we'll decide what to do with you."

Ok first off before anyone attempts to flame me, I am very well aware this is a Mary Sue. It's supposed to be. Thank you. All other criticism is welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own young guns or young guns 2. But I'd be happy if I owned Chavez.

Chapter 2- Friends

Star awoke to the feeling of the ropes around her wrists being cut. She squinted at the morning sun shinning through the Hogan doorway.

"Time to awaken, Miss Star." came Chavez soft voice from behind her.

"Huh?" Star said sleepily and yawned "what's going on? I thought I was a prisoner?"

"I talked to the tribe..." he said as Star stood and turned to face him

"... they believe your story, but you must pay a price for the wound to my cousin."

"And what price is that?" Star asked and crossed her arms.

"You are to serve me cousin and his family."

"you can't be serious!"

" It would be act of apology on your part. Don't you think you owe him?"

Star look at the ground, thinking. " Well, if I'm going to be sticking around awhile, I should at least know your name."

"Heh, Yeah, its Jose' me Chavez."

"Okay... Chavez." Star smiled.

Chavez was a logical minded person. He held no anger to Star for wounding his cousin; he himself would have done the same in her situation. He took her on a tour of the reservation, skirting along the border and then cutting across through the center, talking all the while to his almost willing servant and learning about her.

Star had been captured by the Cherokee Indians when she was thirteen and lived there until she was found at the age of sixteen. Apparently, she had loved Indian life and after she returned to white mans world, she spent her time reading books and studying on every kind of Indian culture. She was interested in everything Chavez told her about the reservation and the Dine'.

Star tried her best to listen to everything Chavez was saying as they walked through the Red Sands reservation, but the nagging voice inside her head kept interrupting and saying "MY GOSH! He's best looking guy I've ever seen!"

When Star lived with the Cherokee, she'd fallen in love with a brave in the village. But, she hadn't seen him since she had been brought back to society and Chavez gaze made her leap in ways her young brave never had.

The Hogan's of the village came into sight as the sun sank behind the odd pair. Chavez couldn't believe he had spent his whole day talking her.

" There's still one thing that confuses me." Star said

"Oh, what's that Star?"

"What's a Navajo Indian doing with a name like 'Jose''?"

"I'm a mexican Indian, my father was in the army... I haven't seen him since I was I kid."

"Oh..." star replied, because she couldn't think of a better reply.

"So what do you think of my home?" Chavez asked

"It doesn't suit you."

"It doesn't me?"

"No."

"Well, this _is _a reservation it's not where my people originally came from."

"Oh, right... well here I am looking stupid…By the way how long do I have to be a servant?"

"Until my cousins wound heals"

Inside her head, Star thought. " Maybe if I'm lucky that wound will get infected."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own young guns or young guns 2.

Chapter 3- Infatuation and pain

The cool night wind blew through the Hogan doorway. Star pulled her Navajo blankets closer around her and sighed with a smile. She was content here. It wasn't an easy life. Food was scarce and work was hard, much harder than life as a Cherokee when game was plentiful. Chavez mother was always kind to Star, so Star often helped her with work as , she was content.

The next morning Chavez mother showed Star how to weave, it was tedious work but rewarding. Seeing the beautiful patterns appear before her eyes gave her almost as much joy as talking with Chavez.

"You pick up fast." Chavez said as he looked at Star's loom.

"Yeah, well it's easy to learn when you're interested in what you're doing."

"I'm glad you're enjoying your stay here."

"You sound like a hotel clerk." Star said laughing

Chavez liked listening to her laugh; he liked listening to her talk. He found it refreshing and at the same odd that she was so interested in the Navajo way of life. He often found himself making excuses to come and talk to her while she worked or sometimes he would stand not far away and listen to her sing as she did her chores. She was beautiful, he couldn't deny that and he liked the fact that she seemed to not like being away from him. 'Stop it!' he told himself 'do not become infatuated with her!'

"Who's that?" Star asked looking off into the distanced

Chavez saw a wagon coming towered the village loaded cow carcasses "That's just the Murphy Company bringing us our beef."

Star looked as though she'd been stabbed through the heart "Did you say Murphy?"

"Yes."

"Murphy's men are the ones who killed my father! I came here to kill him."

"I thought you said you lived in Okalahoma? How could Murphy and Co. be involved with your family?" Chavez saw the pain in Star's eye's as they saw the images from her past.

"My father was gifted with horses and he struck it rich in the horse racing business. Murphy's daughter, who lived in our town, told Murphy he needed a piece of the action. It just so happened at that time my Dad wanted to breed to a high priced stud and didn't quite have enough money so Murphy and Co. fitted the bill on the condition of a fifty split of the profits. When the colt started racing he didn't bring in the money Murphy thought he should so he sent his men to collect Dad's share of the winnings. Dad refused and said that was just the name of the game. Murphy's men said that was the wrong answer and shot him in front of general store..." Tears began to stream down Star's face "... and nobody did anything! The town's people just stood there and watched them ride away! So I grabbed my guns and came to take revenge myself." Star's dimpled cheeks turned red as she wiped the tears away.

Chavez placed his hands on star's shoulders " I'm sorry about your father Star. " he said in that soft soothing tone he had first spoken to her in, as though he was trying to calm the beast of anger that fought to get out.

Star turned and watched the now empty wagon disappear "I can't stay here anymore Chavez... How can I live with myself knowing the man responsible for my father's death is still alive?"

Now it was Chavez turn to be stabbed through the heart. Star had been here a month and his cousin's wound was healed except for the new skin that had not yet blended with the rest (a/n if you don't understand that it's your fault.) Star was free to leave anytime she wanted, but she stayed and Chavez had not thought and did not want to think about her leaving. Even if he wouldn't admit he had feelings for her, he did admit to himself he had some kind of connection with her.  
" You..." he stuttered "...You can't go Star." She looked at Chavez curiously as he spoke "I mean... do you think it's what your father would really want? For you go off and get yourself killed trying to avenge him"

Star looked at the ground "I guess not. But the laws not gunna' do anything"  
Chavez thought for a moment then said "Well, just stay a little longer until I can think of a plan that doesn't end with you getting hung."

Star smiled a little "Okay, I'll stay Chavez... Because you asked"


	4. Chapter 4

I had a reviewer ask a few questions I thought the rest of you might be wondering. First, when is this fic set? Well, when it's not in flashback mode it's set between YG 1 and 2, when Chavez goes to California, before he's taken back to Lincoln. Second, what is Star's real name? As to that you're just going to have to wait, but you will find out eventually. Now on with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own young guns or young guns 2(there I admit it)

Chapter 4- Letting Go

A month past and Chavez had still not given Star a so called "plan". It was getting to be early January and Star knew her mother must think she was dead or in prison. Star couldn't risk going into town to send a letter. She was about to be at her wits end when something happened to take her mind off her problems. Star was at her loom putting the finishing touches on a red and blue rug, when Chavez came running up to her grinning from ear to ear.

"Star I have wonderful news!"

"You've got a ring of gold for me?" Star said under her breath

"What?"

"Nothing"

"Star, my mothers getting remarried!" Chavez knelt on the ground beside Star. "She wants you to help her with preparations." He took Star by the shoulders. This always annoyed her because it was like he wanted to hug her but couldn't make himself, so he just held her shoulders instead.

Shima, Chavez mother, was not the most beautiful woman in the tribe, but she was the kindest and there was never someone so deserving of happiness than Shima.  
Star decided that the rug she had just finished would make a good wedding present, with just a few changes. So in her spare time between helping Shima with the wedding preparations and her daily chores, she worked on improving the rug. Chavez couldn't remember when he had been so happy. His Shima would finally be remarried after all these years and perhaps give him a long wanted sibling. A plus to all this was since Star was so busy helping his mother with the wedding, Star didn't have time to be angry with him for not coming up with a plan to avenge her father.  
It wasn't like he hadn't thought about it. He had, but he hadn't thought of anything that wouldn't put Star in danger.  
He had thought of doing it himself, but that might put the whole reservation in danger, the whites might think there was an uprising. And what would happen when Star achieved her goal? She would be gone back to Okalahoma and he would more than likely never see her again and he did not want that.

Late January saw the wedding of Shima and it was as though it calmed its cold winds just for her. At the ceremony, the medicine man sang a song to the spirits called a "blessing way" and drew a picture in sand of the spirit that would protect the new couple. After the song ended, the sand picture was scooped up and tossed to the west. Star had read about this ceremony before and it delighted her to see it performed. After the wedding, a big bon fire was lit and the celebration began.

Chavez heart was full to bursting as he danced. He was so happy for his mother, but now that the wedding was over he realized that he hadn't seen Star since that afternoon. At last he found her standing alone, smiling and watching everyone else dance. She looked absolutely beautiful. The red, blue and green dress she was wearing was obviously of Cherokee make, although she did have on several long necklaces made of Navajo beads.

"What are you doing over all by yourself? Aren't you enjoying the party?" he asked

"Yes, I was just taking a little breather."

"Well, are you ready to get back o the celebration?"

"Yes."

Chavez offered her his arm, she took it and they went back to the rest of the group. At first Star danced alone like the villagers, watching them and trying to mimic their movements. Then the drums picked up the beat and everyone went into free style, yelling and jumping like there was tomorrow. Chavez ran over and took Star by the arm and began to dance with her. He picked her up and spun her around. She laughed and he laughed with her, their voices blended together in an almost musical way and suddenly…. They became aware of that; and there were lights in both their eyes.  
Star brought her lips to Chavez ear and whispered "I love you."

"What?" he said in a tone like he couldn't have heard what he heard?

"Then Star pulled away, she looked horrified "OH! I'm sorry!" she said loudly and ran off.

Chavez found Star sitting on the ground behind a Hogan looking off into the distance.

"Star you don't have to worry about what you said to me."

"I don't?" she said looking up at him hopefully

"I know you didn't mean it, you were just caught up in the moment. I didn't take it to heart." Chavez said rather gloomily and started to walk off but Star got up and stopped him. Her voice was soft and she was smiling a little.

"Chavez that's not why I was upset, I was afraid I chased you off being so forward."

"So you meant what you said?"

"Chavez I know you'll think I'm crazy, but the moment I met you I felt like we had some kind of connection. Like we were kindred spirits or something." she took his hands in hers as she spoke.

There was silence between them for a moment and all they could hear was the beating of the drums.

"I care for you too Star." He said gently " and maybe I've been selfish, I keep finding excuses to keep you here…"

"No, no, Chavez if I wanted to leave I could have left a long time ago. I just, I just couldn't bear the thought of riding off and, "Star struggled to finds the words she wanted to say.

"I'm glad you didn't." Chavez said and smiled. He put his hand to her cheek, leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. She kissed him back with more force and ran her fingers his dark hair. He kissed her face sporadically; he had bottled up his feelings for her and felt good to let them out. Star broke the kissed, wrapped her arms around him and placed her head on his chest and he rested his head on hers and just stood there holding her. "Star, I want to ask you something."

"What?"

"Can you let Murphy go?"

"What?" she raised her head and looked at him

"I couldn't stand it if something happened to you and what about your family?" Star looked at the ground, thinking. "Stay here with me Star, and I promise I'll never let anything happen like that to you again. You'll be safe." Chavez said and stroked her face.

"All right Chavez I'll stay…" Star said and actually did feel her hate melt away as she looked into Chavez eyes. "… I'll stay."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Joy and Despair

In late February the winter turned cold. Heavy snow started to fall, covering the village in an icy blanket. It had been weeks since the last beef shipment and rations were low. Many of the adults were going so far as to only eat once a day so that the young children and pregnant women could have more.

Star and Chavez sat huddled together wrapped in a blanket by the fire. The bones of his face stood out and his once hard muscles had begun to waste away from lack of nutrients.

Chavez looked at Star. Her already lean figure had shrunk a full size and brightness was gone from her eyes. He didn't have a choice but she did.

"Star I want you leave." He said

"I'm not leaving you." she said it like it was a matter of fact and it wasn't up for argument.

"I can't watch you do this to yourself anymore Star. My people and I have to stay here. But you don't. "

"Listen. I'll admit I didn't even live this scantily when I lived with the Cherokee, but I'm a tough girl, I can saddle my own horse and everything." she said sarcastically. He starred into her eyes and knew she would not leave.

Where was the government aid? The supply of beef should have been there two months ago. Sickness spread through village at an alarming rate. Star sat in her Hogan warming her hands over a fire. She had made up her mind that she would go Lincoln for food and medicine regardless of the danger it might put her in. She couldn't watch the suffering anymore.  
She heard commotion outside and looked out of the Hogan. She saw the whole village gathered around something. She walked up to the group and asked to no one in particular "what's going on?" She pushed her way through the crowd and stared down at what at first glance looked like perfectly good beef. Then a cold breeze blew past and Star smelt the rancid stench of decaying meat. She held her nose with her thumb and fore finger and bent down for a better look. She turned away quickly feeling sick at the sight of the maggots squirming in the rotten flesh.  
She got up to walk away and ran smack into Chavez. "Oh! Chavez it's ruined! It's not good for anything!" She buried her face in his chest, tears streaming down her face. Star knew Chavez was seeing the same vision she was. Graves.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- To Part is Sorrow

It seemed like the sun set early that day. Like the wind was colder, like all the clouds in the sky gathered over that one miserable piece of land to darken it. The Great Spirit claimed the life of one of the elders that night. His frail body finally giving way to sickness, hunger and old age. Star cried hard at that poor mans funeral; not because she knew him well, but because death was all Star could see in the Dine' future. She was filled with growing rage. Rage that built on the torture she suffered from her own race, which built on the murder of her father, which built on what was happening to these people that built on what she knew was happening to Indians everywhere.

When she had come back from living with the Cherokee she had not been readily accepted into white society. Most people saw her has a traitor, a black spot on the town. So it was a surprise when the most handsome boy in the town came to call on her. She had a perfect evening with him, dancing, eating, laughing, everything was wonderful. Until she started on her way home. They were walking arm in arm down the boardwalk when he excused himself and left her alone near a dark alley. There had been no one around, no one to see the three pairs of hands come at her out of the darkness. No one to see her dragged off down the alley and beaten beyond recognition. She hadn't screamed for help or cried out in agony, although she couldn't stop the tears spilling down her cheeks, she took each blow in a way to make her tribe proud. Even after she was relieved from the pain by unconsciousness, her wounds showed she had been kicked several times viciously in the ribs. It had been her Indian brother who found her lying broken and covered in blood. He took her back to the village and nursed her back to health. All the emotions from that time came back to Star now, whirling inside her like storm. And there was lighting in her eyes.

Chavez stood staring out into the distance. A chilly breeze blowing back his dark hair; thinking with that brilliant strategic mind of his forefathers. You could guess someone in his blood line had been great. And as he stood facing the wind, unmoving, barely blinking, he almost looked like he might be a ghost of the ancient days; when the Indians were still a powerful and proud race. He heard light footsteps behind him and then felt a tender hand on his shoulder. He didn't have to turn around or hear her voice, he knew her by heart.

"Its late." star said softly "it's getting colder. You'd better come inside."

"I'm going to take a small band to a trader's camp near by." Chavez replied still not turning to look at her "maybe we can trade some blankets and rugs for food."

" No! You know how people feel about Indians around here!.. It would be suicide!"

"I have to try Star…. My people are dying… If not in body, in spirit. I'm not sure which is worse."

"Let me go instead. I can..."

"NO! I won't let you do that! This is our problem. Stay out of things you know nothing about!" Chavez was yelling at Star now, something he had never done before

" What!"

"You heard me! No matter how long you live with them, no matter how much you wish it, no matter how much you act like one, you will never be Indian"  
Star said nothing, but after staring at Chavez for several moments in disbelief, she walk away.  
Chavez stood alone. For how long he didn't know. Why had he said those awful things to her? He didn't mean them. He heard the sound of fast moving hooves and looked to see Star on her horse galloping away from the village.

Star went the opposite direction from Lincoln. She wanted to get as far away from that part of the country as she could. She felt numb all over as she rode. For a whole day she rode through a heavy pouring rain and didn't even feel the wetness or the cold. How could have said those things to her? He had told her he loved her. He had held her in his arms on cold nights. He acted his love, not just said it. Star suddenly felt a pain in her stomach, such pain that she doubled over in her saddle. Something was wrong; she had to get back to the reservation. She spun her horse around on the spot and took off in a dead run back to the Red Sands.

Chavez laid on his horse, his arms wrapped around its neck to keep him from falling off in his state on half consciousness. He could feel the warmth of the early morning sun as the horse walked almost in slow motion it seemed. Would he ever reach home? Or would he bleed to death before he could feel the comforting touch of his mothers hand; telling him everything would be all right.

Before he could even say a word to the men at the trading camp, they had opened fire. All the whites had seen was a group ragged Indians who came to rob them.  
The stench of death caused Chavez to sit up and look around. What he saw made him feel as though some one had cut open his chest and ripped his heart out.

It was almost dark before Star could finally see the nest of hogans on the Red Sands. But something wasn't right. As she drew nearer she could see there was no one moving about doing chores. She got even closer and could almost swear that she saw bodies lying on the ground.

'How long have I sitting here?' Chavez wondered. He looked again at the scene before him. The three bodies of his mother and his twin sisters lying in a row, covered with a blanket; just the way he had put them. He would need to do more soon, they were already starting to smell, but he was so numb all over that he couldn't move.  
It was just then that Star entered the Hogan doorway, tears coming steadily down her face. Chavez turned with a sudden rage to see who the intruder was, hoping it was the perpetrator of these crimes, then he take out his pain on the murderer. But as soon as he saw who it was, his rage melted and all he felt was sorrow again. Star knelt down on the ground beside him and put her arms around him "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry!" she said. He laid his head against her chest and she held him. He wept and she wept with him until their voices were horse and their eyes raw from crying.

Star didn't think about starting the fire and hearting water, it was instinct. She tended to Chavez wounds and made him change into fresh clothes. She did all this without a word spoken between them, several hours of silence.  
Finally Chavez stood and declared "I'm going after Murphy"  
Star didn't put up a word of argument, even though she had wanted to kill Murphy herself, she couldn't help but feel Chavez deserved the right more.

"What do want me to do?" she asked meekly

"I want you to go home, Star." Chavez stated firmly "go home to what's left of your family. You don't know what your missing." he looked down at the ground and swallowed the lump in his throat, the time for tears was over for now.

"I do know." she said "I am ready to go home. But, I'm afraid to leave to you deal with this yourself. It won't stop with killing Murphy; there will be more people you'll have to kill."

"I know, and that's why I want you gone. I don't want you near here when the killing starts." he saw the uncertainly in her eyes " don't worry it'll be all right."

"I'm just afraid I won't see you again." she tried to say without crying anew, but wasn't successful. Chavez wiped a tear from her face. "don't worry, I'll stay alive long enough to find you again"  
Star mounted her horse and took one last look over the Red Sands and then looked down at Chavez. "I want to tell you my real name is case you come looking for Me." she said

"Your real name?"

"Yes, remember Star is my alias. My real name is Helena, Helena Hill."

"I think I like Star better." Chavez replied, smiling for once in a long time

"I'll see you soon Jose Chavez."

"You will, I promise"

Star turned her horse and galloped away into the distance. Chavez watched her until she disappeared from sight, then he turned his horse toward Lincoln.

: end flashback: (a/n long flash back huh?)

Chavez starting walking to Star, a smile appearing on her face as he approached. And Chavez knew at least for awhile he would be free of pain


End file.
